


Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Q Branch

by 1MissMolly



Series: Pictures of Alec, James and Q [7]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond - All Media Types, Nova Prospekt - Fandom, Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Explicit Language, M/M, Male Homosexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-03
Updated: 2015-02-03
Packaged: 2018-03-10 07:13:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3281531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1MissMolly/pseuds/1MissMolly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bond has been away for six months and Q is furious with him. James tries to apologize. Piece of life from the Pictures of Alec, James and Q series. Rated M for the funny business James and Q get up to in the cleaning cupboard. </p><p>Nova Prospeckt Universe</p><p>Don't own anything but my love of the characters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Q Branch

Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Q Branch

Q was furious. James had been away for six months and had gone off mission twice during that time. Once he had even been listed as ‘killed in action’. Q had sat in his office that night and cried. It had all been too much. His lover had disappeared and reappeared, then blew up a helicopter only to disappear again. Finally, he arrived at the listening station in Prague and announced the mission was complete.

He had been flown home from Prague and was presently standing in M’s off being berated by the man over the shootout at a Russian embassy. It had been captured on film as it was difficult for the Prime Minister to deny the fact that a member of Her Majesty’s government had assassinated a Russian business man in Budapest, Hungry. The fact the Russian business man was involved with the Russian Mafia was a moot point in the political world.

Q was as furious with the man as M was, but not for the shootout or the equipment he had lost or blown up; including two cars and a one-man submarine. No, Q was furious at Bond, because he had made Q worry unnecessarily. If Bond had kept his com link with him, instead of dropping it into the river in Belarus, he would have been able to keep track of his agent. His lover.

For over three years now, Q had been in a relationship with James Bond and Alec Trevelyan. It was a unique and unusual arrangement. He was the shared lover between two of the most dangerous men in the world. Trained assassins for Her Majesty’s Secret Service. And he loved it. The three men shared a townhouse in Kensington and lived together, when the agents were allowed back into the country. It was the three of them and the two ferrets, Gordon and Chell. It had been a perfect arrangement. A wonderful life. Q had his lovers and he was able to keep them safe and keep them close.

Until Bond decided to go off mission and track down the man who was responsible for killing his contact in Budapest. Bond had spent weeks moving around Eastern Europe tracking the man down and then shooting him in one of the bedrooms of the embassy. In the same bedroom where the Russian had installed an underage prostitute to serve him. Bond had killed the bastard and gotten the girl out and back to safety. The Ambassador was presently being recalled to Moscow for questioning regarding his involvement with the crime syndicate while the Russian government denied any wrong doing. Bond, arrogant as ever, felt the mission had gone very well and was quite proud of himself.

That attitude just made Q angrier. He glared at the man as they stood in the new M’s off. Mallory droning on about image and diplomacy while Q just want to throttle the agent for making him worry. Alec had told Q not to. That James was notorious for disappearing from time to time. He would be back soon with his smug smirk and his devastating blue eyes; waiting to take Q to bed for a week of love making. Q growled at the other agent and told Alec, Bond would be lucky if Q let him back into the town house if he ever saw the man again.

“Bond do you have any idea of the repercussions your action have with the Russians. We were making headway with the Ukraine then you pull this. Now we look like a bunch of trigger happy imperialists. Let the Americans go around shooting things up, we have bigger fish to fry.”

“I prefer we not let our assets be shot or their deaths go unpunished.” Bond rebuked M’s statements of politics over human costs.

Mallory tipped his head up to stare at the man through half lids. He didn’t find Bond’s bravado appealing at the moment. He was facing major blow back from the murder.

“Your revenge killing was unauthorized. I could be forced to hand you over to the Russians or the Hungarians by White Hall. Did you consider that?”

Bond did not answer the man, instead held the man’s gaze returning it with his cold calculating glare. Q cleared his throat.

“I have been informed that several major news agencies around the world have been leaked information regarding Raspopov’s activities. Both American and Japanese agencies will be running releases stating Raspopov was head of a major branch of the Moscow Mafia.” Q might be angry but he was not willing to see his lover shipped to a gulag in Siberia. Well, not at that exact moment.

Mallory turned and looked at Q. “And how did these various news agencies receive this information?”

“I believe an anonymize source was given credit. I suppose Murdock’s reporters may still be hacking into personal email accounts.” Q said as he tipped his head down to adjust his glasses.

Mallory tossed the report he was holding back down on his desk. He sighed dramatically and looked back and forth between the two men.

“Get out. Q, I want a complete list of equipment Bond was responsible for during this operation, as well as a complete property damage assessment too. It has gotten to the point that MI6 may no longer be able to afford you, Bond. If I can’t get you off the playing field with the assassination, I will with your willful disregard for property.”

Bond huffed a stifled laugh while Q rolled his eyes.

“Come with me, 007. You will spend the rest of the day in Q Branch explaining to me why you chose to make a helicopter into a submarine and a submarine into a torpedo.” Q turned and left the office. He did not wait for his agent to catch up to him. Instead, Q marched off to his department, his face red with anger.

Once they had left the executive branch of MI6, Q started berating the man.

“How could do that to me? Do you know how hard I fought to find you? To bring you back? And instead of listening to me you went after Raspopov. You went after a killer because of her! Sophia! A double agent!”

Bond had stepped up beside Q and walked silently as the younger man ranted. The agent’s patience getting thinner and thinner as they walked down the isolated halls. As they rounded the last corner before reaching the glass doors of TSS, Bond grabbed Q’s elbow and pulled the young man into a cleaning cupboard. The door slamming behind them.

“Bond, what the bloody uhm . . .” Q’s protest was cut off as the blonde pushed the young man into the wall and seized his mouth with his own. The kiss was hungry and messy. Teeth and force. Bond grabbed Q’s wrists and pushed them up over the man’s head. He leaned his weight forward, trapping Q against the wall. Bond hummed and growled as Q tried to twist away from the kiss. His anger too strong to allow forgiveness just yet. Bond insisted, as he kissed and nipped at Q’s lips; lapping his tongue over the younger man’s.

Q finally quit trying to pull his arms out of Bond’s grasp. He melted forward, surrendering to the agent’s demands. Q whimpered as Bond moved from his lips to the younger man’s throat. Biting at the tender tissue, leaving marks behind.

“James, I . . . why didn’t you let me know?” Q whispered as his knees started to buckle. Bond pushed him harder into the wall.

“I couldn’t stop. I had to go after the bastard, but I’m here now. I have thought about you for weeks. Wanted you for weeks! I can’t wait any longer!”

Bond spun Q around, and pushed Q’s chest flush with the wall. Bond leaned against Q’s back and nipped at the man’s throat. Slowly he ground his pelvis into Q’s backside. Q was panting, he could feel the heat rising in his skin as Bond wrapped his hands around the man’s waist and fumbled with Q’s belt and fly. Sucking a surprised breathe, Q felt the heated air between them as James pulled Q’s trousers and pants down. Exposing him to the man’s desires.

“James, wait! Not here!”

“I’m done waiting! Do you know how fucking sexy you are when you angry like that?”

Q felt Bond kneel down behind him. He felt the drag of James’ teeth over the globe of one arse cheek, then Q buried his face into his crossed arms. He leaned heavily into the wall, failing to cover his loud moan with his fist. The warmth of James’ tongue was drive Q wild. The young man quivered as the agent explored and teased at him. Q felt the heat of his skin; he blushed with lust. His clothes started to cling as sweat covered his stimulated body.

James smiled as he listened to his lover’s moans. The clear precise diction failing while James took Q apart. James had fantasized about doing this to Q. The long cold nights alone while he was on the hunt. He would take himself in hand and imagine all the filthy things he was going to do to his computer genius when he returned home. This was only one of many things he planned on doing to Q before the weekend was over. Q was panting hard, his whole body reacted to James’ ministrations.

“Oh, fuck . . . James, please . . . I need . . . oh, James!”

James looked up at the young man above him. The only light in the cupboard was leaking in around the door and through the slits of the vent in the same door. He could feel Q tremble with need. The young man began to push back into the agent. Bond purred. He was going to have his Quartermaster right here. Just a few paces from TSS.

Just then the door of the cupboard was yanked open. Both men froze as Danielle Marsh, second in command of Q Branch, stood there glaring at the two of them. Q was leaning forward onto his folded arms while his naked arse was pushed backwards and into the face of a double ‘O’ kneeling behind him. Q’s blush deepened and Danielle crossed her arms and started tapping her foot.

“Is that your idea of an apology, 007? Well, you will need to be more creative than that with me.”

She slammed the door. The two men heard the staccato of her heels as she stormed down the hall to the glass doors of TSS.

“Bloody hell!” Bond hissed.

“Oh my God! How in the hell am I ever going to face her again!” Q said standing up. He grabbed his pants and pulled them up. “She’s seen my naked arse!”

“YOU! She saw me with my face in your naked arse!” Bond stood.

The two men stood staring at each other in the dimly lit room. A smile started to curl Bond’s mouth, then his body started to shake as laughter forced its way out of the man. Q could not hold back and his laughter barked out as James giggled. The thought of how the two of them must have looked as Danielle chastised them. Q leaned forward and wrapped his arms around James’ neck as the agent pulled Q into an embrace.

“Welcome back love.” Q whispered as he kissed James’ lips. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, and I can’t wait to show you how much.”

“I think you just showed Danielle.” Q laughed and kissed Bond again.

The two men straightened their clothing and then stepped out of the cupboard. The two proceeded into TSS and Q forced himself to avoid looking at Danielle. Bond, on the other hand, winked at the woman. She narrowed her eyes at him for a brief moment, then smiled. James knew his apologies to her would include numerous bouquets of flowers and a very expensive bottle of wine. Maybe two.

**Author's Note:**

> Title is a play on one of my favorite movies, "Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum."


End file.
